Compassion

Hello friends. Compassion is necessary for a life well-lived, and one of the most difficult virtues to develop regarding human nature. Roman poet Virgil recognized that all life and memory carry some sadness within, even as we sigh for the good old days which never, really, existed. Lacrimae rerum — there are tears in things. Life is a struggle and in my own experience I learned some lessons of compassion from my Uncle Johnny, barba John, who, though with his own difficulties, always welcomed visits from myself and younger brother George with unconditional favor. Best, Gene.

 

Compassion

“There are tears at the heart of things.”
(“lacrimae rerum.” – from Virgil’s “Aeneid,” translated by Seamus Heaney)

Growing up, I was immersed in Italian-American culture,
contadini from the countryside in Liguria and Tuscany.
Only later I learned that no one begins life with a clean slate.
John Mangini, my barba Johnny, contributed more to me
than I ever realized in youth.

Uncle Johnny built his own chapel in the chicken house
that had been part of our Victory Garden during the war.
Like Dante talking with Virgil, he would assign torments
for the priests and nuns who had burdened him with guilt.
My visits gave him a chance to be fatherly. In return,

I was letting Johnny’s pain and sadness seep into me.
He helped me grow into the lacrimae rerum,
the tears of existence, but with kindness of spirit
toward my younger brother George and myself.
We enjoyed his unconditional acceptance.

Only later did I realize barba Johnny’s compassion
was a way of dealing with life’s troubles. Generous
beyond his few resources, he sent money
to suspect religious charities, a habit I could not break
in him even during my heady Jesuit days.

George and I became accomplished adults
carrying our childhood wounds in different ways,
the mutual influence of nature and nurture.
Compassion, a virtue I found in many teachings,
is barba Johnny’s most important lesson to me.